How many oranges does it take to refresh a US football team

We finally did it a match at Texas Christian University...a stadium which holds 44,000. This is a university sports facility.

You have to concentrate v hard to get the rules and action. Just think there is an offense and a defense each with its own team. Now you may ask why I posed the question at the beginning.........
Well just look at them all........

The offense are built like fast moving brick lavatories and run with the ball. The defense are bigger slower moving brick lavvies designed to stop the offense running with the ball and protect the guy throwing the ball to the offense. The key being that when you are on the offense you have to keep making so many yards in order to keep posession of the ball. Whenever the ball stops moving or the player drops the ball and to avoid loss of limb and smudging of lippy the whole game stops.
At this point without fail the home team's personal bugle and drumming band jump up with Ya ta ta taa ta ta taa err a

- to the point where the temptation to shove a banana in the end of the instruments become overwhelming.
It must be worse for the blokes concentration since half the girls in the second year are running round the perimeter of the pitch in thongs and tassled bazooka covers shaking their tic tacs to the beat of said band (picture supplied on application)
Meantime further down the pitch..local Walmart sponsored celebrity Gloria Grossablondawig has taken the opportunity to hop on the pitch on with her microphone and some unwitting patient from the local hospital who is living proof that the charitable donations you make to keep their health system afloat do work and just to prove it further they will launch a thousand pink balloons to match the football player's underwear.......TOUCHDOWN
Did I sound a little cynical there??
And so to the action outside the ground...we'll have none of yer slash, smash, crash and booze culture here thank you very much. Everyone who is anyone has their own personalised car park space

Number 36 - Mr and Mrs Clint Bankowitz who in said space hoist a Horned Frogs purple and white tent under which they BBQ half an oxen and invite family to join them whilst they watch the match reaching a heady ecumenical frenzy inside the stadium on the 62 inch TV and satellite system they just happen to keep in the glove compartment of the Chieftain Tank in which they arrived.

We are almost there now peeps with the blog update which I will try to maintain more regularly. (don't worry I hear you say)...