- What?
- Those funny speaking folk, not from round here and not from Sulphur neither though they smelled it.
- Nope...not heard that kind a talk in these parts since 1867 but me granpappy passed that one down word of mouth and he was a liar...What you do with em?
- Well I gave 'em some of ma BBQ brisket with beans.
- You sure they don't come from Sulphur.
- Yeah I know, thought they was spies for the Wolves of Sulphur checking out our tactics for the game tonight. Didn't want 'em spoiling the only event of the year. Turns out they was hungry and looking for a "kettle"
- A what?
- You heard me...for boiling water, seems they staying in a log cabin in Turner Falls and thought because it had a cooker and fridge, it would, just like everywhere else in the US, have pots and pan's as well.
- Darn stupid.
- Think that's why they went to Sulphur to find one but just came back with a smell hee hee hee hee (loud ding from spittoon).
- Seemed confused that we was serving food, decorating, hairdressing and selling antiques and lavender bags all from the one place.
- Hey I heard the beds in those cabins yawl like a mule when you sit on 'em, can be heard for miles hee hee hee hee (even louder ding from spittoon). Did ya see 'em again.
- Oh yeah did I see, the only people in the restaurant.
- Din't they know it was football.
- Nope. They was trying catfish..big dude like that you'd think he would want the All you can eat for $8. Just pussyfooted about with 3 feyeah instead, and the lil' woman couldn't eat her cornbread and fries neither.
Cut to Turner Falls..catfish wimps in costumes.
We see a small party of people all dressed up in their finery. All leave except one, a lone cowboy. He walks round the falls with a limp, takes off just his hige black ten gallon hat and boots and dives in the pool.
He stands up and peforms the most spectacular green spit in out general direction. Having sucked the remnants back up from his chin, he begins....
- You English? Beautiful here ain' it. Can't do this in Arkansas anymore..come out covered in ticks.
- Yes we are from Yorkshire in England.
- You know a guy called Smith, came from Wales, a soldier?
- Can't say we do.
- That was ma dawter just got married over there near the fall, did ya see it? Her father-in-law is a priest. Ma daddy became a Catholic and his family disowned him. I been reading a book I come from a place near York...Futon do you know it?
- There is a place called Fulton.
- No the book said Futon. Is York a Catholic city? Queen Mary you din't like her much did ya?
- Catholics live there but so do Jews, Protestants, Sikhs and all denominations, we don't have that much segregation by city.
- What's your name?
- Wiles
- What kind of a name is that? Catholic? You related to the Vikings? You know you can never have too many friends. I'm in the Mason's too. Got my leg fixed in hospital by the masons as we din't have much money. They always help ya out. Well been nice talking to ya...
And here's the scenery we came for, plus our newly acquired authentic 1930's log cabin.
The signs to Crystal Cave were that good we ended up here, the sun was beating against the rock and there was no shade. Phil another 6 foot higher suddenly realised that the little crack in the wall which we think was Crystal Cave was a perfect environment for rattlers...we had only climbed about 100 foot we could easily bounce and crash back down.
We also swam in the Blue Pool but by then the batteries had run out.
And yes Sulphur contains what it says on the packet......
Next stop...Hot Springs, Tick Land (Arkansas) and hopefully (ha ha) Hope (birthplace of Clinton) and Little Rock...
I know ...you don't see a blog for ages and then three come along at once.
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